Blog entries from: Reluctant Memsahib

the diary of wife, mother and failed domestic goddess in Africa

1 to 9 of 9

July 27 2014

From Reluctant Memsahib Sun Jul 27 2014, 04:57:45

I say to Hat, 'this is good shit'. Hat groans, almost inaudibly. We are on a walk , Pili disobediently strays ahead and vanishes into rows of pruned tea, all we can see of her is her yellow tail wagging furiously above the trimmed green, a submarine's periscope, an antenna. And we are collecting shit. [...]

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July 26 2014

From Reluctant Memsahib Sat Jul 26 2014, 04:36:59

If I had logged my life as religiously as I did in the Outpost, would the past 2 1/2 years have been easier? Would they feel less like lost time? As if I were running across marbles, slipping, sliding, losing my footing? Had I been able to capture them tidily in properly punctuated paragraphs, would [...]

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April 8 2014

From Reluctant Memsahib Tue Apr 8 2014, 05:03:02

      Miranda Hart said it in Call The Midwife, 'I have acres and acres of time'. Like me. I know I should be grateful for all the open-ended hours, should use them wisely. But I'm overwhelmed by them; they loom and taunt, 'What are you going to do with us all then, hey, hey, [...]

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April 3 2014

From Reluctant Memsahib Thu Apr 3 2014, 05:05:08

My daughter, writing her dissertation, 'Never Complete. Never whole. White Skin and an African Soul', asks me for a quote, 'Why do you think you're African'. I tell her, I feel African because everything about this place is familiar from the light, to the seasons, to the rains, the colours, the insects, the birdcalls, the [...]

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February 25 2014

From Reluctant Memsahib Tue Feb 25 2014, 10:35:59

I've moved. From Tanzania to Kenya to Zambia to Kenya and back to Tanzania. It seems pertinent, given all that moving and shape changing, that this blog morph in empathy. I'm here now. And here.

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January 12 2014

From Reluctant Memsahib Sun Jan 12 2014, 03:40:06

    Every time I walk past their box, the little quail call greedily. It didn't take them long to learn I equated with food. Despite securing their home with chicken wire, wound taught so that I cut my hands as I wrapped it, there is still the occasional Houdini so that I'm suddenly aware [...]

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October 4 2013

From Reluctant Memsahib Fri Oct 4 2013, 09:17:04

An editor once described my works as 'elliptical and impressionistic'. She meant I meandered and could not pin the facts to the page. I have left kind readers baffled as to my whereabouts. I have even led some to believe that I had been abandoned by Ant. No. Not yet. As I said: it could [...]

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October 3 2013

From Reluctant Memsahib Thu Oct 3 2013, 12:14:30

I keep telling myself. It could be worse. It could be worse. It could be. I didn't think it could be when it ended in tears here. I didn't' think it could be when we got here. But it did. It got worse. So now. Now. As I write. With a cold beer at my [...]

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August 2 2013

From Reluctant Memsahib Fri Aug 2 2013, 23:33:15

By the end of this year I'll have moved again. That'll make my fourth trans-Africa move in less than 24 months: Tanzania to Kenya, Kenya to Zambia, Zambia to Kenya and Kenya back to Tanzania. I'll have called six, or is it seven? eight even? different houses Home. Such movement, such apparently overwhelming change, seems [...]

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